04/12/23
Confession Albums
my answers to the Proust questionnaire
In the 19th century, a confession album was a book or album filled with questions that prompted the owner to confess personal information about themselves. These albums were typically small, with decorative covers and blank pages, and were passed among friends and family as a kind of social game.
Each page of the album would contain a question or statement that the owner of the album would answer, such as “What is your favourite colour?” or “What or who is the greatest love of your life?” the owner would then pass the album around to their friends and family, who would answer the same questions on the subsequent pages.
The modern day version of this is probably the We’re Not Really Strangers game. (what an insane business model btw – capitalizing on the human need for intimacy)
Confession albums were popular in the Victorian era, and were seen as a way for people to share intimate details about themselves in a socially acceptable way. The answers in these albums were often written in calligraphy or other fancy handwriting styles, and the albums themselves were often considered cherished possessions.
When Marcel Proust was young, he was given questionnaires to complete at two different social gatherings: one when he was 13 at the 13th birthday of Antoinette Felix-Faure for her birthday book, and another seven years later, which had similar questions but different answers, reflecting his characteristics at the age of 20.
I thought – what a great way to document who you are as a person at a certain moment in your life.
My version is inspired by two things Vanity Fair does. First, they do the Proust Questionnaire with prolific people in Hollywood. Second is the interview series they have done with Billie Eilish, interviewing her for six years in a row – same questions, similar to the Proust Questionnaire.
I also plan to do the same questionnaire every year in April.
Here are my answers to the Proust Questionnaire:
Aishwarya Khanduja, age 25, Sunday 3/5/23 @ 1:44am
__1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Having agency over my time + energy
__2.__What is your greatest fear?
My family’s health declining
__3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
When I act like a know-it-all
__4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Unreliability and inconsistent values, disingenuousness, slowness
__5.__Which living person do you most admire?
I am into incredibly creative people who are immersed in their art making their art and vocation intertwined. Wes Anderson and Christopher Nolan types. I like Finneas as an artist recently. I like people with big deltas. Oprah. I like polished people.
__6.__What is your greatest extravagance?
I buy whatever book I want whenever I want. I also travel wherever I want whenever I want. I collect some rare magazines
__7.__What is your current state of mind?
Curious, optimistic nihilist, cautiously excited, inspired, stimulated, tunnel-minded to produce
__8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Being “nice”
__9.__On what occasion do you lie?
I catch myself lying – deviating or embellishing stories to make myself “sound cooler” to “impress people” ie gain validation. Working on it
__10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I feel neutral toward my appearance
__11.__Which living person do you most despise?
Don’t have the energy to despise anyone
__12.__What is the quality you most like in a man?
Dependable, independent thinker, does not place moral value only in his own belief system, empathy/benevolence
__13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Empathetic, free thinker, self aware of biases, passes the bechdel test
__14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Lol” said out loud as one word, “that’s sick”, “banal platitude”, “X is a function of Y”
__15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life?
meeeeeeeeee
__16.__When and where were you happiest?
Whenever I have a day where I consciously listen to my body and mind and do whatever I feel like. I feel super content and grateful right now
__17.__Which talent would you most like to have?
Communicate viscerally to an audience. Make people feel something. The medium doesn’t matter.
__18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Let go earlier
__19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My life rn :)
__20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Carl Jung
__21.__Where would you most like to live?
Sort of still figuring this out. I like everything about my life right now. Traveling lots!
__22.__What is your most treasured possession?
My notebooks (confession albums)
__23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Self loathing, having no hope
__24.__What is your favorite occupation?
Creator, taste-haver (curator?)
__25.__What is your most marked characteristic?
Disciplined and “strait-laced”
__26.__What do you value most in your friends?
A strong sense of character, feeling seen when I’m around them
__27.__Who are your favorite writers?
Right now: Olivia Laing, David Foster Wallace, writers of the show Succession (Jesse Armstrong)
__28.__Who is your hero of fiction?
Sherlock Holmes
__29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Renaissance people
__30.__Who are your heroes in real life?
My nani and mom
__31.__What are your favorite names?
Satya, sai, arya, florence
__32.__What is it that you most dislike?
Not knowing what to do. Not being in sync with my intuition. Not feeling in alignment.
__33.__What is your greatest regret?
None really
__34.__How would you like to die?
In my fav place surrounded by my fav people
__35.__What is your motto?
There are no rules
“My destination is no longer a place, rather a new way of seeing.”
― Marcel Proust
This piece is 12/50 of my 50 days of learning. Subscribe to hear about new posts.